Metamorphosis

Written Friday, May 4th, 2012. God was softening my hard heart. He reminds me of my hard heart when I reread this. Written with the story of Hosea in mind.

Please be my inspiration
My every innovation
With each passing aspiration
Conform my heart to yours

As I sigh in bliss,
Please hear my only wish:
To be your only kiss
Though I belong to whores,
For I have lusted and lied
I have munipulated and cried
those crocodile tears for years
Though I outwardly appear pure

My heart is made of stone
To darkness I am prone
And I fear to live alone
As the shadows of yester year

My flesh cries out for blood
For I am a bridesmaid of Jezabel's kind
I run away with the whore of Hosea
I am lost and gone astray
And so here I am today:
Broken pieces of jars of clay

But, in this brokeness I have found-
You are all around
You capture my gossamer broken wispy wings
I am the dead luna larvae
Stripped from its chryalis
Gutted and raped and rotted away

But, yet, as a new dawn breaks,
And the foundations of mountains quake,
And my dead listless soul begins to ache,
I rise up from the ashes
Through grey drips and symbol crashes
As the crook'd light ever flashes
Through fire, I metamorphize

My stomach turns inside out
My brain implodes with pain
A rhythmic pounding of the rain
grows louder than my fluttering accelerating pulse

My skin melts in molten malt
I am clearly aware of every fault
Excruciatingly made lower than the feces of worms
Dispair, disgust, and depriciation
Smother my sinking spirit
The silence rings and yet I hear it
The presentless rains and gonging thunders of justice

As my body is demolished,
Through Hades fires and Sheol's Hells, I rise
with the shadow of a phoenix
On luna wings, I fly
Reborn to never die-
A bride metamorphisized from a whore
White replaces the black I once wore
To be with You evermore.