anti-nostalgic

Hey there. Well, I have never done this before. All this blogging stuff. I have heard a great deal about it. And, I thought that it was interesting and all but never thought that I would do it. Actually, I used be a little disdainful of it. But, over the past few years, and, specifically, the past few months, I have been reading a few friends blogs here and there.... and I have even thought about *gasp* starting one myself. Who knows if anyone would read it, much less even LIKE it. But, here goes.

Me? I, Kait, am a verbal processor. I think things through by talking them out. But, I also process a good bit by writing it out. Sometimes things are alot more rational on paper with scribbled ink than popping out of my big mouth.

Many of my thoughts are poetical in format when I write them out. Not in perfect iambic pentameter, or perfect rhyme or reason, but they speak through a symbolic, poetical language that I cannot quite interpret.

Well, here goes. Venture into the depths of my thoughts (or the surface of them, for I fear this might only skim it.)

They say that sadness removes the boulder that holds creativity back

That it lets imagination flow...

But, I say it is not so

I say that it comes from a clarity of a rarity of which we lack

For uninhibitted joy of a pure, innocent innovation is an extint animal.

And we have killed it

We shot it and mauled it

and hunted it for SPORT

We have perverted it and averted it

Replaced by hate, lust, and lies

Artificial false imitations

Refusing the REAL THING

Filling the VOID with something

that will momentarily sustain then

leave us

thirstier

and more ravished and desperate than before

till all we want is MORE, MORE, MORE

and TAKE, TAKE, TAKE

the fake, fake, fake

and break, break, break

our hearts which pour out on the floor

a mess of wine-colored guts

that has ROTTED AWAY

full of maggotty, malicious HATE

May this NOT be OUR fate!

SAVE ME!

I cry out and awake

A tear slips out of a scaly, lazy eyelid

I try to hide it, but it comes out anyway

Why am I this way?

Because.

Must there be a reason?

Do we have to rationally understand each season?

Why do you try to please them?

No reason.

I believe them.

But, you shouldn't

Why?

It's a lie.

SO ASK WHY

ALWAYS ask why.

Always let curiosity be a light that guides your way

DO NOT

put

it

out

Fan the flaming fire! 
SHOUT IT OUT! SING IT OUT!
This is my desire!

TO KNOW WHY!

But, realize you will not always understand

There will always be questions without answers

But

ask them anyway

Ask them today

Look for the answers

for this life has many to offer

Some are wrong and some are right

some might be left

so go another left to find them

and then, go right back again

It

never

ends

until it's over

So, keep going on, my friend

Don't let them tell you to stop.

Ask anyway

Ask away

Ask any day

Ask today

Why?

Because you won't know until you do

You might not know even then

You might not even know in the end

But, that's okay because in the end,

you might have a different question

So, then, ask those, too

You know what to do

If you don't,

then, you won't

Unless you try to understand why

Don't take their word for it

Don't take MY word for it

Find out for yourself

You won't know until you try